This is in no particular order. Some pieces are a constant regardless of the day; other parts may vary. Over the years, I’ve been a Systems, Infrastructure, Network, DevOps Administrator, Architect, and Engineer (Honestly, how many titles have I had?) The point is, I’m a jack of all trades and wear many hats. I dabble in compliance, building and poking holes in IT systems, in addition to rallying people. Seventeen-year-old me deciding to study engineering was a logical decision. These days I’m putting out fires, mitigating the risk of future ones, and being a part of a small yet smart and mighty team to clean up a mess. The most important skill I need for my current position, and in life, is communication. Technical skills are important; however, they can only take you so far. I’d like to thank my family, friends, and counseling for molding these parts of me. Both have challenged me in unique ways and have given me the courage to explore my corners and amplify my growth.

Religion. In particular, my 20s have been a time to explore, learn, refresh, and strengthen what I already knew about Islam through a spiritual lens and curiosity. When people think of structure, they think of simple habits and rules. Limiting yourself to that is a disservice and deters deeper thinking. Remember, the first verse that was revealed of the Quran, (اقْرَأْ بِٱسْمِ رَبِّكَ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ) invites us to be readers. As we all know, reading is one of the foundations of learning. Religiously, it's an act of worship that invites us to a loving God. Islam has grounded me through some of the most vulnerable challenges I have experienced so far in life. It's a corner that’s experienced deep darkness and vibrant light, one that I strive to expand every day. Sometimes I fail. Islam is a critical part of my life that guides me in how I approach life, others, and myself. Mercy, gratitude, forgiveness, and justice are some of the many aspects I’ve explored through religion, delving into Sarya’s corners. It's important that we apply what we read, whether it's religious text or not. I know that it's much easier said than done. If you choose not to be willing to do so, you end up doing yourself a profound disservice and risk navigating dangerous trenches of hypocrisy and ignorance, having empty corners that build darkness rather than breaking down those walls. Use kindness to motivate yourself. Immense fear and shame, especially shame, should never be a way to fuel the way you learn and apply knowledge.  

Counseling. I’ve done various types throughout my adult life, in groups and individually. I’ll be sharing what I’ve gained from my journeys. I want to give a particular shoutout to a therapist I worked with, Nadia, and share with you a story of when I began working with her. I was angry, and to be quite honest, I didn’t care to develop a therapeutic relationship with her; the logical, shielding part of me said I was simply there to better understand my circumstances. I quickly realized that I was doing a disservice to both of us. It wasn’t about her; rather, it was about my walls, and I would’ve done the same with anyone else. When we began our work together, she made a distinct observation about me that I once thought was pure strength. But all strengths can also be weaknesses. Nadia asked why I speak out of logic and pointed out that I do not express my emotions. I’m used to people saying to me, كلامك منطقي (you speak logically). Initially, I was confused; I thought, “Isn’t this what everyone should do?” In my mind, it's hard to refute logical points when speaking to someone else. She then asked me if I’m like this with my family and friends. I responded with “Yes, of course.” With a concerned face, she said, “Interesting,” then feverishly began to jot down a bunch of notes on her large yellow legal pad. In the days after that session, I called my close family and friends and asked them if they agreed. Not only did they quickly agree, but they did so unanimously, and a solid chunk of them said it drove them nuts. That session launched some of the most deeply impactful work that I’ve done in a long time. Work that I continue to carry with me. It's resulted in deepening relationships with those I love and helped me find peace with saying goodbye to others. I have immense gratitude for my experience working with her; she’s sharp, cares deeply, and meets you with care and compassion. Do not allow the stigma of counseling to get in the way of self development. My work with her has been a catalyst for growth that has become a core part of Sarya’s Corner, and I will carry those lessons with me as I uncover the stories each new corner of life has to offer.

Tradition. Recently, my Uncle Hassan and I had a very important conversation while we were enjoying berry smoothies with peanut butter. He asked me if I am a traditional person. I responded that the meaning of tradition is highly subjective for each individual, even when they share the same ethnic or cultural background. I’d like to think that I pick the good parts of Sudanese and American culture while distancing myself from the harmful parts. I explained that to me, tradition is hospitality, بخور (incense), the aroma of sandalwood and musk, which provide me with comfort. Tradition is embracing your village; it’s filled with food, clothing, art, wooden rosaries, and musical genres like R&B, Pop, Jazz, حقيبة (Haqeeba), شعبي (Shaabi), and تراث (Turaas). He was shocked, pleasantly surprised, and blurted out, “How do I not know this about you?” The shock and questions continued, upon learning this side of me, he questioned one of my life decisions, which cracked me up. I think it was more so of the way he said it, rather than the question in itself. I then informed him I play the Oud. You could see the excitement in his eyes, he also asked me how I learned and what I play. I informed him that I’m self-taught and showed him a quick audio clip of me playing a Sudanese classic, “يا غالية زينة حياتي”. The title itself translates to “My Precious One, The Beauty of my Life.” Sudanese music is deeply poetic. It’s authentic, filled with raw meaning that touches your soul in a powerful way, especially if you resonate with the lyrics. The majority of these songs can be broken down into the following:

“I’m in love!”

“I’m in love, but they do not love me back.”

“I’m in love, but they moved.”

“We love each other, but this external factor is preventing us from being together.”

“I’m heartbroken.”

“Life is gloomy…”

When I play the Oud, I hear the song in my head. It’s embedded. There’s no sheet music; I play from the heart. Here’s the same audio clip that I showed Uncle Hassan: